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Showing posts from October, 2018

Why I Changed My Mind About Forced Apologies

As a former elementary teacher, I used to cringe when I overheard adults demanding, “Say you’re sorry!” to a child after he’d been involved a scuffle with another kid. I couldn’t stomach the obvious lack of remorse when the child parroted out the phrase, and I worried about the loss of the greater lesson of making things right after committing a wrong. So instead, I used to pose a question, “How can you make it better?” And let the children mull it over before they skipped away to help a friend up, rebuild a fallen structure of blocks, and often apologize of their own will. It was special to watch and I felt certain I’d never direct a child to robotically apologize. Then I had a baby. Who became a toddler. And toddlers are a whole other animal. Toddlers bump, push, scream, and throw things. And they have NO IDEA what I’m talking about when I ask them how they can make it better. So I realized that it’s my responsibility to teach my children that skill. Toddlers are brand ne

These Magic Words Will Instantly Stop Tattling

Tattling is really confusing for parents. On the one hand, you’re glad that you’re little one has a sense of justice, or at least knows the rules. On the other hand, something inside you knows that at least some of the time, tattling isn’t really right. And of course, it can get plain annoying. So what’s a mom to do? Continue Reading

What Stop Training Your Toddler is and Why You Need To Do It

How many times have you frantically chased down your toddler or screamed a train of “Stop! STOP!! STOOOPPPP!!!” as he approaches a street or other dangerous situation at full speed ahead? If you just want to keep your child safe and also keep your sanity, you HAVE to give stop training a try. Continue Reading

Why You Shouldn't Give Your Kids Warnings

“Don’t make me count to three!” This sentence has a problem. What’s the problem? It’s a warning that there are going to be three more warnings before a consequence will come. I mean, maybe a consequence will come. There might also be more warnings. And here’s what this sentence teaches your kid: You have to follow my directions after I tell you five times. Or once I get really mad. Or maybe never. And I’m guessing that’s not what you want. I’m guessing you want to teach your child that you mean what you say and you want them to respond promptly to your directions. The first time. Let me let you in on a little secret: You don’t need warnings. You don’t need threats or countdowns. Continue Reading

I Clean Instead Of Playing With My Kids And I Don't Feel Bad About It

When it’s naptime at my house, you might find me sprawled out on the deck in my bikini soaking in the afternoon sun. I could also be curled up in our guest cottage with a book and a hot cup of coffee. Depending on the weather and my mood, I might be in a number of places in my home doing a number of things, but generally, I won’t be vertical. My eyes might be open, but my body systems have gone into a dormant state. And. I. Will not. Be cleaning. Don’t get me wrong. I’m the kind of girl who bleaches the counters and does two loads of laundry per day. When you add it all up, I spend at least an hour an half on cooking and cleaning each day. And that time doesn’t even include running errands, shopping, or making appointments. So when do I get it all done? Simple: when my toddler is awake. After breakfast, I clean the kitchen and prepare lunch. Then we read books and do letter work together. Next, I throw in the laundry, vacuum, and clean the bathrooms. We have an outing, come ba

5 Ways to Prevent Meltdowns You Haven’t Tried Yet

Every mom of a toddler knows that meltdowns happen. When our little people come face to face with their big feelings, let’s just say everyone has a hard time. I have a few new tricks and tips for you that will reduce these little “incidents.” Continue Reading

Why I Don't Say No To My Kid

Would you believe me if I told you that I don’t say No to my kid? I don’t practice permissive parenting. I set limits, I’m consistent, and I don’t say No. Here’s why I don’t say No, and what I say instead. Read More

How To Sleep Train Yourself

Your baby is finally sleeping well, but are you? Many parents struggle with sleeplessness themselves. Often we never had the greatest sleep habits, but we didn’t notice until we became parents. Sleep feels so much more vital to our daily existence after kids. The truth is, everyone can benefit from improved sleep, and not many of us know the science behind it. Read More

Gentle and Effective Methods For Dealing With Toddler Behaviors

Toddlers. They make no sense, amiright? Does anyone really know what level of behavior to expect from them? How do we set boundaries while also respecting their underdeveloped impulse control? I am going to tell you how to respond to misbehavior and how to teach desired behaviors. Read More

Becoming A Mother Is the Most Feminist Thing I've Ever Done

Someone once said to me, “My wife is a feminist, so she’s waiting until her thirties to have kids.” As a twenty-something with a baby on my hip, I cocked my head and all I could muster was, “Oh.” I’m a stay at home mom. I’m responsible for all of the household chores except taking out the garbage. I literally wear an apron. And you know what I wish I had said instead of “Oh”? Actually being a mom is the most feminist thing I’ve ever done. And only after becoming a mom did I truly understand feminism and feel empowered as a member of my gender. To begin with, there’s the simple fact that my body grew an entire human being. While I continued with life as usual, my organs rearranged as, over nine short months, two cells grew into a six-pound human. Then you know what happened? My body literally split open and I pushed that little human out into the world. I spent 27 hours in pain I could ever have imagined. And I’m still alive! Then I sustained this little life for another 6 m

What To Do When Your Toddler Stops Napping

Nap time: it’s every mom’s moment of solace. Some use it to knock out the chores. Others bring in income working from home while the littles doze. And still others (like me) lead by example and take a nap themselves! No matter what you use nap time for, I think we can all agree that it’s precious. And none of us look forward to its end. Nevertheless, healthy toddlers can drop the nap as early as two and a half years old (don’t freak: others will keep it through kindergarten). So what do you do when your toddler stops napping? The answer is quite simple. Read More